


now may I have all these things

by Lacerta26



Series: If Not, Winter [3]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: 1930s, Conversations, Letters, M/M, Moving In Together, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26449687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacerta26/pseuds/Lacerta26
Summary: 1936 and the King has died. What does this mean for Thomas and Richard?
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: If Not, Winter [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915414
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	now may I have all these things

**Author's Note:**

> Title from, you guessed it, Sappho!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

Downton, January 1936 

  
  


_21 January 1936_

_Dear Thomas_

_I’m sure you will have heard by the time you get this._

_We stayed up all night to hear the news from Sandringham. We knew it was coming and yet when the call came it was still a shock. I saw first hand he was as mortal as any man but I still didn’t quite believe it was possible._

_I feel oddly trapped between a nation grieving for their King and a family grieving for their father. I do not fit comfortably with either; I knew him better than most of his subjects could and still, I think, not at all._

_That is the nature of jobs like ours, I suppose, being both within and without every family we serve._

_Which is all to say I have decided to leave service. I have some money put by and the house in York and enough experience to be useful to somebody._

_Could you leave Downton and come with me? Think on it; a house, a home, a life. Weekends and holidays and all those things we’ve wished for and wanted for so long._

_I think this is our chance. Please say you’ll join me in it._

_Yours,_

_Richard_

It takes some time, there’s a transition, you can’t just walk out of service to the Royal Family, even if the King you served so faithfully is dead, and there’s Downton to think of, Thomas will work out his notice, help them find someone new if he can. He does care what happens here, what will happen to the people he’ll leave behind. 

Anna, Mrs Bates as she must be known as Housekeeper, smiles gently when he tells her he’s leaving.

‘Would this have anything to do with a certain Mr Ellis?’ 

Her sitting room is warm, the cup of tea in his hand scolding through the china but neither have anything on the blush he can feel on his cheeks. 

‘Perhaps,’ he can’t help but smile, even with his head in his hands, ‘how on earth am I going to tell the family?’

She laughs, ‘you’ll think of something. Besides, it’s your life, not theirs.’

‘Of course we shall miss you, Barrow, but if you feel it’s for the best,’ his Lordship is predictably pragmatic, getting up from his desk in the library to shake Thomas’s hand. 

Lady Mary has other ideas, cornering him in his pantry after dinner, ‘why are you doing this, Barrow? Have we treated you poorly?’

‘No, milady -’

‘Then why? You must have a reason,’ she folds her arms and fixes him with a look that stronger men have struggled to disobey. 

‘Mrs Crawley has found me a job at York County Hospital and -’

‘Do you expect me to believe that you are leaving a good position in this house, a job you could have for the rest of your days, to swab wounds and all manner of gastly things at York County Hospital? I wasn’t born yesterday.’

‘No, milady -’

‘And what am I to tell George? When he comes back from school and you’re not here?’

‘I can write to him, if you think -’

‘I think you should tell me your real reason for leaving and we’ll see if I think it’s good enough for me to let you.’

Thomas stares at her, this woman he has known since he was 19 and she was 16, someone he has seen in grief and joy, watched grow from childhood into marriage and motherhood, take control in a world of men. They’ve gone boy and girl into man and woman, side by side in this house, parallel lives but in so many ways they’re kindred spirits. He decides to tell her the truth, or as much of it as he can manage.

‘Do you remember when the King visited Downton?’

‘In ‘27, of course I remember, but what has that got to do w -’

It’s his turn to interrupt, ‘I met someone, Mr Ellis, he was the King’s Valet.’

Thomas watches as realisation dawns on her face but still he carries on, for the avoidance of doubt, ‘he’s moving back to York and I’m going with him.’ 

Lady Mary nods, once, ‘of course, so you should.’ 

She smiles and turns as if to go but instead carries through the movement to put her hand on his arm, fleeting. Thomas can’t remember the last time they stood close enough to touch, neither of them are especially demonstrative and _certainly_ not with each other, it’s brief but heartfelt and more significant than if Lord Grantham shook his hand a hundred times. 

‘I do hope you’ll be happy, Thomas.’

‘Thank you, milady.’ 

He doesn’t tell anyone else directly, just lets it come out in dribs and drabs. A rumour, especially one that has truth to it, spreads fast at Downton and before the week’s end he has people in the village wishing him well. 

They don’t know the full story of course, although enough of them downstairs will have guessed the truth or some of it. It’s a secret, like all the others he's carried throughout his life, but this one makes him smile whenever he thinks of it. 

The day of his departure arrives and with it a whole crowd _dropping in._

Mrs Hughes _and_ Mr Carson turn up with the Bates’ in the morning and Daisy, without Andy (who’s seeing to the pigs and is ever so sorry not to see you off Mr Barrow), stops by at lunch. Mrs Patmore, brought along by her niece, is in tears by mid-afternoon. 

‘I never thought I’d warrant such a reaction for leaving,’ Thomas says to Miss Baxter in an undertone, ‘cheers of joy, maybe.’

She looks at him askance but smiles when she sees he’s joking, ‘a lot can change in a decade, Mr Barrow, you certainly have.’ 

‘For the better, I hope?’

‘Of course, love always changes us for the better,’ she smiles again but not at Thomas and, yes, there’s Mr Molesley in the doorway, taking off his hat and waving. _Just thought I’d pop in my eye._ Thomas waves back because he has changed and he’s glad for it. 

He had hoped the actual moment of parting would be managed without much fuss but just as he’s preparing to slip away Richard appears in the doorway of his pantry looking inordinately pleased with himself.

‘Who let you in?’ it’s accusatory but he’s smiling so Richard doesn’t rise to it.

‘One of the hallboys. I borrowed a car from a bloke at work. Thought I'd surprise you.’

‘Well you have done that,’ Thomas comes round his desk, although it’s just _a_ desk now rather than _his_ desk, to take Richard’s hand. He doesn’t risk a kiss, not even a peck on the cheek, even with the door shut people have been loitering all day and while he doesn’t mind if they know he’d rather they didn’t _know._

‘Are you ready?’

‘Just about.’

‘Do you want to say goodbye?’

‘I’ve done all that, more or less. With everyone that matters, anyway.’ 

The corridor is not empty.

‘Did you think we’d let you sneak off?’ says Anna handing him a glass of champagne, ‘come to the Servants Hall. You too, Mr Ellis.’

The music and laughter drifting towards them down the hallway is something he finally feels a part of just as he’s preparing to leave it behind. He finds he can accept the glass with gratitude he really means.

It’s bittersweet as it was always going to be and it will be painful to remember the good times as much as the bad but Thomas feels a lightness as he walks away, shoulders bumping against Richard’s as they did all those years ago, the facade of the house behind them now. 

Nearly fifty years old and most of those years spent living in service to others; from here on he’s living in service to himself, and for the man beside him. 

_21 January 1936_

_Dear Richard_

_We’ve all just heard the news._

_The family is very upset and I think there’s more grief downstairs than I was expecting._

_It’s something we’ve all experienced time and time again, death in the family we serve, but it never gets any easier or any less strange. He was the King but he was also a man, as you’ve spoken of him many times, with flaws and virtues just the same as any man living. I am very sorry for your loss._

_I hope you don’t think this is impertinent but will you stay in service? Could this be our opportunity? You have the house in York and we’ve plenty of skill between us to try something new while we’re still young-ish men._

_I will try to get you on the telephone this evening but I wanted this in writing._

_Come home to me, please._

_Affectionately,_

_Thomas_

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr!](https://lacerta26.tumblr.com)


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